ABOUT US

About F.A.B.I.

The mission and history of F.A.B.I.

Origin Story

In 1887, deep within the forests of Victorian-era Europe, an incident shook the continent—over 500 squirrels vanished simultaneously in a single week, only to reappear three days later atop an ancient oak tree, hosting what witnesses described as a "formal ball." They were reportedly wearing tiny tuxedos.

Traditional law enforcement was utterly baffled ("Sir, we can't even understand what the squirrels are saying," remarked the inspector of the time). At the urgent proposal of the European Naturalist Society, the Forest Animal Bureau of Investigation (F.A.B.I.) was officially established that autumn.

NOTE That oak tree was subsequently designated as F.A.B.I.'s first headquarters. 139 years later, the squirrels still refuse to relocate, claiming "historical tenancy rights."

Our Mission

F.A.B.I.'s core responsibilities include but are not limited to:

  • 🔎
    Investigating Forest Anomalies Including unidentified paw prints, suspicious fur samples, and "who stole the honey" cases
  • 🛡
    Protecting Furry Citizen Rights Ensuring every forest resident has access to safe habitats and adequate snack supplies
  • 📜
    Maintaining Forest Law & Order Enforcing provisions of the Forest Covenant and resolving inter-regional animal disputes
  • 🌱
    Ecological Monitoring Collaborating with forest rangers to monitor environmental health and population dynamics

Organizational Structure

DIV-A

Field Investigation Division

Responsible for on-site investigations, evidence collection, and suspect (or suspicious animal) tracking. Sub-units: Jungle Team, Stream Team, Canopy Team.

DIV-B

Intelligence Analysis Division

Handles intelligence aggregation, pattern recognition, and risk assessment. Rumor has it their reports come with adorable illustrations.

DIV-C

Forensic Analysis Division

Specializes in fur, paw print, and scent sample analysis. Maintains the world's largest fur database.

DIV-D

Public Relations Division

Handles external communications, media relations, and answering questions like "Are you really a government agency?"

Timeline

1887
Establishment

Founded following the Great Disappearance Incident. Initial staff: 8 agents from the Royal Hound Retired Corps, equipped with oil lamps and magnifying glasses.

1923
Global Expansion

Branches established in North America and Asia. First "Fair Honey Distribution Agreement" signed with Bear Clan, ending a decade-long honey dispute.

1952
Post-War Recovery

Headquarters requisitioned as wartime command post during WWII; squirrels relocated to fourth floor. Post-war operations resumed; squirrels refused to move back down.

1987
Centennial Celebration

Grand centennial gala held. Cumulative cases exceeded 10,000. Jerky consumption: too numerous to count.

2024
Website Launch

After an extended approval process (and an even longer color scheme debate), the F.A.B.I. official website finally goes live.