Forest Animal Bureau of Investigation F.A.B.I.
"Don't ask. Just know we're investigating."
We're not entirely sure what we're investigating either, but after 139 years, quitting is simply not an option.
View Agent DossierLatest Bulletins
- 2026.02.05 URGENT
Unidentified floating object discovered in East District pond. Forensic analysis confirms it to be Agent Bear's rubber duck. Item has been returned to owner.
- 2026.01.28 NOTICE
Lunar New Year duty roster announced: Owl Division on call from Day 1-3 (they don't sleep at night anyway).
- 2026.01.15 PUBLIC
2025 Annual Snack Consumption Report released: Jerky up 23% YoY. Finance Department states they've "done their best."
- 2026.01.08 INTERNAL
New Year's Resolution survey results: "Chase fewer squirrels" tops the list for 47th consecutive year. "Eat more vegetables" received zero votes.
- 2024.12.15 URGENT
Notice: Investigation into anomalous paw prints reported in the deep forest.
- 2024.12.08 NOTICE
F.A.B.I. Annual Furry Citizen Satisfaction Survey now open for participation.
- 2024.11.30 PUBLIC
2024 "Agent of the Year" results announced. Note: Winner declined photo, claiming "cameras steal souls."
- 2024.11.22 INTERNAL
Reminder: No tennis ball chasing in office areas. Violators fined three jerky sticks.